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Falsifying Family Ties

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One questionable parenting technique? Exploiting your kids for government services, as did one Michigan mom, who falsely claimed to the state’s Department of Social Services that she had her two children in her custody. The Batavian reports that the woman successfully enrolled in the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) and cheated them out of nearly $11,000. (Which is probably more money than she’d rake in as a “pageant parent.”

After Social Services caught the inaccuracy, the state charged the woman with one count of third-degree grand larceny in the third and seven counts of offering a false instrument for filing (read: welfare fraud). The state went on to suggest that, should this mom-of-the-year plead guilty to just one count of offering a false instrument for filing, the court would accept her guilty plea in satisfaction of the original eight counts.

Ultimately, the woman was ordered to pay back the $10,437 in public assistance and food stamps she stole, permanently disqualified from receiving monetary aid through either of the programs she swindled (because even the government knows that cheaters rarely change their ways) and sentenced to five years of probation. (She also was strongly discouraged from watching ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ reruns).

This case should issue an important warning for welfare worms across the country: when receiving state-sponsored family benefits, at some point you may need to prove that your dependents, well, actually depend on you. (And if that’s not enough of a deterrent, try to remember that attorneys always charge more than the government pays.)

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